Yesterday morning I was contacted by the aunt of one of my blog followers. I was taken aback by the call, as I’m super busy finalizing details for my upcoming event (Cupcakes & Cocktails)
. The caller sounded unsure as to whom she wanted to speak with.
As I waited to try and catch the voice she asked if she could speak with “The LupieChick
”. I paused as I knew this was a Lupus related question as no one refers to me as the Lupie Chick in conversation. I acknowledged that I was the person she was looking for and she began to tell me about her niece, Mishinda.
Mishinda was 26 years old, mother of 2, and had passed away from complications of Lupus on Sunday, February 24, 2013. I instantly felt my heart break (literally, I had a pain in my chest) as she began to speak about Mishinda. It pains me to hear stories of anyone lost their fight with Lupus. Funny thing, she didn’t sound sad. She was laughing and telling me how Mishinda loved my blog and my willingness to just say whatever I wanted. Her favorite post was Am I Being A Bitch Or a Baby
We laughed as I was slightly embarrassed by the title of that post. Mishinda referred to me as a pistol whipper (lol…lol…). She commented that she looked forward to my daily pictures of me smiling (I haven’t posted any pictures of my face in a while, as I’m going through a flare up and have the butterfly rash across my face
) and my reference to Lupus as Mister.
Then, she suddenly her tone of voice became serious. She stated that Mishinda asked her family to find me and get in contact with me because she wanted to speak to me. “ME????? “
Was my reply, as I never had any interaction with Mishinda? The family tried feverishly to find me, finally coming across my Facebook page, in which has my phone number listed. She asked me if I would attend the candle light virgil on Friday night to honor Mishinda. — INSERT A PAUSE AND A LUMP IN MY THROAT—ME???? Ya’ll know I have a fear of public speaking.
She replied- YES, we would like you to come and speak. I told her that I’m not a medical professional, I refrain from giving medical advice, and I can only speak about my experiences and my desire to bring awareness. Her reply: “BE YOU – BE THE FUNNY LUPIE CHICK
THAT MISHINDA SO LOVED AND ADMIRED” [insert uncontrollable crying].
After I stop crying, and contacted a few friends, as I was unsure if I should attend. I questioned my ability to speak publicly (I have a MAJOR fear…. stomach is in knots RIGHT now as I think about it), I questioned what would my presence bring, can I meet Mishinda’s expectations or the families expectations, what would I stand up there and say??, sweating, stiff and straight like a statue with nothing coming outta my mouth?? [Oh my!]. All my friends encouraged me to do it and to let God guide my words. I realize the honor and blessing. I pray that I can deliver and fight through this fear. I will attend the candle light service, and honor my lupie sister Mishinda the best way I know how. I can hear my siStar now “Sixx, You better werk hunty” (lol…lol…lol…) DO THAT!!!!!
Fam, I write this blog with no hidden agenda. My ONLY agenda is to share my life, and my experience with Lupus. I have no idea the number of people with whom my blog had inspired, made laugh, cry, or angry but I’m grateful to each and every one of you. Mishinda has encouraged me to continue to push, fight, and advocate for all Lupie Chicks
. I NOW realize that Lupus is my ministry. It’s my duty to be a voice and a face for the invisible disease. Please keep me prayed up as I enter this new chapter of my life. #LupieChicks