antidepressant, aunaturale, awareness, blogger, depression, Facebook, Instagram, lupie chick, lupie chick project, lupus, lupus Awareness, lupus foundation, medicine, spoonie, stress, Twitter, zoloft

Not The End Of Me


Not The End Of Me
Who am I?
I don’t know…
Had I become that person I so despise?
My thoughts
Deep, dark, and unrecognizable
Who am I?
Did I just give up?
Given up on life, love, my passions, and everything in between
Who am I?
A cry baby
Weak
Distorted thoughts
State of confusion
Broken Spirit
Negative
Shaken
Stirred
Who am I?
A silent voice and distant eyes
That no one hears my cry’s
Who am I?
Drowning in the depths of sorrow,
with no tears left to cry.
Who am I?
© The Lupie Chick 2013

I’ve been was battling depression for the past 6 months. A lot of stress triggers has occurred with my relocation to Georgia, my employment, my health, and a multitude of other things. I leaned heavily on my sister- friends that keep praying for my recovery and strength to come out of this dark space. I was having uncontrollable crying spells, insomnia, panic attacks, nightmares (when I would finally sleep) and just an overall feeling of failure. I wanted to die. In my opinion, my spirit was already dead. I was in a very dark mind space and I couldn’t see my way out. While at one of my doctor visits, the doctor was asking me questions and I just looked up at him (as if I was possessed by a demon) and blurted out “I really don’t give a fuck right now.. Whatever you want to do is fine with me, I’m ready to go” I stood up and WALKED OUT, crying as I left his office. Later that evening I received a recorded call from Kroger pharmacy telling me my prescription was ready. [Insert demonic look and gas face] “What damn prescription?? I figured it was a wrong number and I ignored the message. 2 days later I received the recorded call again, I was in Kroger ( at Starbucks) and figured I would go over there and tell them to stop calling me ( they were using my day time minutes and I don’t have any to spare). When I reached the counter, the pharmacist acknowledged that I did have a prescription and it was ready. 
ME:  “YOU CAN KEEP IT- I HAVE NO INSURANCE & NO MONEY!”
Pharmacist: “Ms Dugar your cost is $4 and if you have Kroger points I can reduce that to $2” Me: [face twisted and annoyed] fine [mumbling and grumbling]
Pharmacist: Please step to the counseling window
ME: Continue face twisting/mumbling/grumbling
Pharmacist: You have been prescribed Zoloft. Zoloft is known to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), social anxiety disorder (SAD), and panic disorder. This medicine is an antidepressant called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI).
ME: [insert, hand on hip, pissed off stance] so what exactly are you saying because I didn’t ask for this?
Pharmacist: Ma’am you may want to call your physician, this prescription was called in
ME: Yeah, I’ma call him [pulls out phone and call doctor office]
After calming down a little and speaking with my physician, I now understand that his prescription wasn’t an insult to my mental stability; it was care, concern, and very well NEEDED! My physician began to tell me he sensed that I was stressed and I was displaying signs of depression. After finishing up the call, I went home, got on the Internet to do additional research.“Between 15 and 60 percent of people with a chronic illness will experience clinical depression. This may be brought on by lupus, by the various medications used to treat lupus, and/or by any of the factors and forces in a person’s life that are not related to lupus. For reasons that are not entirely understood, this type of depression is often experienced by people with chronic disease.”Lupus Foundation of America
 I encourage anyone that exhibits any of the following to consult with a physician.
·  Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
·  Sadness
·  Crying (often without reason)
·  Insomnia or restless sleep, or sleeping too much
·  Changes in appetite leading to weight loss or weight gain
·  Feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, or irritability
·  Feelings of guilt or regret
·  Lowered self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness
·  Inability to concentrate or difficulty thinking
·  Diminished memory and recall
·  Indecisiveness
·  Lack of interest in things formerly enjoyed
·  Lack of energy
·  General slowing and clouding of mental functions
·  Diminished sexual interest and/or perfor­mance
·  Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
I’ve exhibited 15 out of the 16 signs above. As a friend or a family member- please do not assume that a person is having a pity party or just “need to get over it”. There were moments I wanted to die, and a friend response to me was “oh Sixx, come on now, you’re having a pity party”. Depression is very serious and HARD to overcome. I’m not 100% recovered (even with the help of Zoloft).  I take it day by day-sometimes-minute by minute. When I say THANK YOU [to my my inner circle]-it’s not just 2 words. I know I have a praying circle around me-and you’re prays has kept me covered. [ praise & testimony]
  • Between 15 and 60 percent of people with a chronic illness will experience clinical depression.
  • Clinical depression may be a result of the ways in which lupus physically affects your body.
  • Some of the medicines to treat lupus—especially corticosteroids such as prednisone (and at higher doses of 20 mg or more)—play a role in causing clinical depression.
  • Clinical depression may be a result of the continuous series of emotional and psychological stressors associated with living with a chronic illness.
  • Clinical depression may be a result of neurologic problems or experiences unrelated to lupus.
  • Clinical depression also produces anxiety, which may aggravate physical symptoms (headache, stomach pain, etc.).
  • Two common feelings associated with clinical depression are hopelessness and helplessness. People who feel hopeless believe that their distressing symptoms may never improve. People who feel helpless believe they are beyond help—that no one cares enough to help them or could succeed in helping, even if they tried.
 Keep in Touch

Twitter: @lupieeChick
Instagram: @naturally_lupie
Email: lupiechick@gmail.com
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Atlanta, aunaturale, autoimmune, awareness, challenge, cupcakes and Cocktails, death, dermatology, Facebook, headache, immune system, Instagram, life, lupie chick, lupie chick project, lupus, spoonie, Twitter, walk

Farewell Mishinda


Yesterday morning I was contacted by the aunt of one of my blog followers. I was taken aback by the call, as I’m super busy finalizing details for my upcoming event (Cupcakes & Cocktails). The caller sounded unsure as to whom she wanted to speak with.  As I waited to try and catch the voice she asked if she could speak with “The LupieChick”. I paused as I knew this was a Lupus related question as no one refers to me as the Lupie Chick in conversation. I acknowledged that I was the person she was looking for and she began to tell me about her niece, Mishinda. 
Mishinda was 26 years old, mother of 2, and had passed away from complications of Lupus on Sunday, February 24, 2013. I instantly felt my heart break (literally, I had a pain in my chest) as she began to speak about Mishinda. It pains me to hear stories of anyone lost their fight with  Lupus. Funny thing, she didn’t sound sad. She was laughing and telling me how Mishinda loved my blog and my willingness to just say whatever I wanted. Her favorite post was Am I Being A Bitch Or a BabyWe laughed as I was slightly embarrassed by the title of that post. Mishinda referred to me as a pistol whipper (lol…lol…). She commented that she looked forward to my daily pictures of me smiling (I haven’t posted any pictures of my face in a while, as I’m going through a flare up and have the butterfly rash across my face) and my reference to Lupus as Mister. 
Then, she suddenly  her tone of voice became serious. She stated that Mishinda asked her family to find me and get in contact with me because she wanted to speak to me. “ME????? “  Was my reply, as I never had any interaction with Mishinda? The family tried feverishly to find me, finally coming across my Facebook page, in which has my phone number listed. She asked me if I would attend the candle light virgil on Friday night to honor Mishinda. — INSERT A PAUSE AND A LUMP IN MY THROAT—ME????  Ya’ll know I have a fear of public speaking. She replied- YES, we would like you to come and speak. I told her that I’m not a medical professional, I refrain from giving medical advice, and I can only speak about my experiences and my desire to bring awareness. Her reply: “BE YOU – BE THE FUNNY LUPIE CHICK THAT MISHINDA SO LOVED AND ADMIRED” [insert uncontrollable crying]. 
After I stop crying, and contacted a few friends, as I was unsure if I should attend. I questioned my ability to speak publicly (I have a MAJOR fear…. stomach is in knots RIGHT now as I think about it), I questioned what would my presence bring, can I meet Mishinda’s expectations or the families expectations, what would I stand up there and say??, sweating, stiff and straight like a statue with nothing coming outta my mouth?? [Oh my!]. All my friends encouraged me to do it and to let God guide my words. I realize the honor and blessing. I pray that I can deliver and fight through this fear.  I will attend the candle light service, and honor my lupie sister Mishinda the best way I know how. I can hear my siStar now “Sixx, You better werk hunty” (lol…lol…lol…) DO THAT!!!!!
Fam, I write this blog with no hidden agenda. My ONLY agenda is to share my life, and my experience with Lupus. I have no idea the number of people with whom my blog had inspired, made laugh, cry, or angry but I’m grateful to each and every one of you. Mishinda has encouraged me to continue to push, fight, and advocate for all Lupie Chicks. I NOW realize that Lupus is my ministry. It’s my duty to be a voice and a face for the invisible disease. Please keep me prayed up as I enter this new chapter of my life. #LupieChicksUnite!!!!!!!

Twitter: @lupieeChick
Instagram: @naturally_lupie
Email: lupiechick@gmail.com

blog, Facebook, health, Instagram, lupie chick, lupus, lupus Awareness, mz sixx, natural hair, NHBPM, November, Twitter, womens health

Day 1: Why I Write About My Health #NHBPM

When I was first diagnosed with Lupus, I instantly took to the internet. I wanted to arm myself with as much information as possible. I was prepared to be over whelmed and immersed in everything regarding Lupus.  I was alarmed by the amount of “repetitive” information that was available. Everything was a repeat and very “ text book” .  I was clear what Lupus is (was), but I wasn’t clear as to how people lived with Lupus. What a day was like for a Lupie Chick .  How Lupus affected friendships/relationships/marriages.  How Lupus affected people’s mental state.  How Lupus affected peoples emotional/physical/sexual health. I had LOTS of questions.  I could not find what I was looking for; nothing was really answering what I wanted to know.  (For me), I needed visual, clear, concise answer(s). Based on the lack of information available, I decided to write from my perspective and keep it REAL & RAW (no sugar coating). If I was in pain I wanted to describe or show pictures of the type of pain or the intensity level of the pain. I was going to show my bare face (without makeup) and talk about the scares, the nasty remarks, and assumptions people make about you when you have an invisible disease. I wanted to provide an outlet for my fellow Lupie Chicks to know that they were not alone and we could cyber space high five each other.
I will never forget my first posting telling the world, I Have Lupus; people were calling me with tears in their voice telling me I had taken them on an emotional roller coaster. I heard from friends I havent from in years (more than 10).  It wasn’t my intention to make anyone cry or become upset, I wrote from the heart.  I wrote as if I was speaking to my girlfriends or family. I’ve found that my ability to be open and my style of writing works for the type of platform I’m building.
I’ve started posting daily pictures of myself saying Hello /Good Morning to my fellow lupies. If I miss a day, people will inbox me on Facebook or text me and say “where is our daily picture?”  I never knew that a simple picture would/could make someone’s day, or provide a little encouragement.  
Not too long ago, I received a mention on Twitter that said “because of the Lupie Chick I know more than I ever thought I could or wanted to know about Lupus and the struggle”.  I don’t know this young lady, never knew that she read my blog or tweets. I received a message from another young lady telling me “because of your blog I now know how to be a better friend “. I don’t get many (any) comments on my blog, and I wasn’t positive if anyone was reading my blog, UNTIL  I get the random messages, text,  or tags of people wearing purple, or mentions of “ The Lupie Chick”.  Just the other day, my hands had swollen and I was in severe pain. I posted a picture on line and a young lady asks “what’s lupus?”  I was in too much pain to type (reply) on my mobile, but I fought through and took a screen shot of the Lupus Foundation page explaining what Lupus is. Even in my mist of a challenge I was able to educate someone on this little known invisible disease.  I’m so honored and humbled to be able to do what I do, and I’m MORE honored and humbled to my readers and audience who help spread awareness.   I know that I will never stop writing, I will never stop bringing awareness, and I will never keep quiet – This is WHY I Write About My Health!
Until Next Time,
Live ~ Laugh ~ Love
Stay Connected
Instagram:@naturally_lupie
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mzSixx
Twitter: @lupieeChick & @AuNaturaleDC

The information included on this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her health care provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or treatment plan.

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Product Junkies- Clutch ya Wallets!!!!!!!!

Are there products out there you’ve wanted to try, but you cant bring yourself to pay the high price tag? Do you have “stuff” cluttering up your cabinet? Are you a product junkie, that will try anything-at least once? If so, you need to check out Lolas Green Hair – #1 spot for purchasing or selling gently used hair care products. This INGENIOUS online listing service is a one-stop shop to purchase new, nearly new and gently used hair care products, at a fraction of the cost. There is no haggling or bidding, and details such as shipping costs and how much of the product is left are clearly stated in the description. I saw a jar of Miss Jessie’s buttercreme for $4.50 ( 75% of a 2oz jar- THAT’S A DEAL!!!!!)

Here’s how it works

Sellers of new, nearly new, or gently used products register on the site, and then list the product, pictures, and the price. You will be notified of potential buyers via email, you then request payment, and ship product(s). Use the social media icons to Tweet, post to Facebook, and use other channels to spread the word about what you’re selling!

Buyers click on ad your interested in, complete the form to contact the seller, and submit payment through Paypal to complete purchase, then await your product(s) to arrive in the mail.

LolasGreenHair.com saves some green, and keeps our environment a bit greener to boot.”Go check it out, you may find some goodies you’ve wanting to try. Or maybe this is your opportunity to clear out that shelf of products that aren’t being used.

coily, curlfriends, dc natural hair, dread locs, Facebook, girlfriends, hair accessories, jaspers, kee-kee, kinky curly, MD, meetup, miss sixx, naturals, Twitter, youtube

DMV Natural Hair Meetup- Recap

Last Saturday I co hosted and attended my 1st natural hair meetup with my sista Kee-Kee All Natural at Jaspers in Largo, MD. I had been wanting to attend a meetup for a while and when I saw her posting about the meetup she was working on- I contacted her and got on board! I wasn’t sure what to expect, what was suppose to happen, or what we would “talk” about for 3 hours, but I did know that I was extremely excited.!

When we initially advertivtised the meetup- the RSVP’s filled up in a few hours!!!! Alot of my Facebook and Twitter friends had their curls in a knot because all the RSVP’s were taken. We established a waiting list advertising that as space became available we would open up additional RSVP’s.



Days leading up to the event were stressful for me ( not really, but thats how I operate..lol..lol…). I really wanted all to have a GREAT time. Between working my full time job, family, and mixing products – THIS DIVA WAS TIRED.COM. The night before my daughter and I sorted the product samples from our sponsors and put together the gift bags.



Our sponsors


African Pride

http://www.african-pride.com

Au’Naturale by Mz. Sixx

http://www.etsy.com/shop/AuNaturalebymzsixx

Bo Beam

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Laquita33

Kee-Kee All Natural * certified natural stylist/braider *

Mobile: 202-315-8479

Email: ChiChiSophistication@comcast.net

Oyin Handmade

http://www.onyinhandmade.com/

Tailored For Naturals

http://www.tailoredfornaturals.com

Tropical Traditions

http://www.tropicaltraditions.com

Twisted Sista

http://www.twistedsista.com

Asaze Natural Hair Salon

Pooka Pure and Simple

http://www.pookapureandsimple.com

Madam Walker Braidery & School

Mobile: 301-505-5313

Imani Joy Naturals

http://www.IJNaturalHair.com



Defined Physique-Personal Training Studio

http://www.definedphysique.com/

I arrived at out venue 2 hours early!!!! lol..lol. I wanted to ensure that we had all the requested accommodations and set everything up. Beleive it or not I have a fear of public speaking, so I needed a cocktail of some sort just to introduce myself. Shortly after I arrived- the sky fell wide open and it rained cats and dogs!!!!!!

The control freak that I’am, I created little booklets that would serve as an agenda along as a “keepsake”. We’ll you know the ONLY thing(s) we did on the agenda was the welcome and introduction..lol..lol.. ( my “strutruced agenda quickly went out the window). lol..lol..

Once we all ordered food and had a couple of cocktails- we chatted about everything from natural hair, to grand children to cupcakes, and mishaps on the metro ( kee-kee- I will never forget that story 🙂 Before I knew it, we were product swapping, drawing numbers for door prizes and give aways, and having some good “curl friends” conversations, sharing tips, and tricks, laughing up a storm!

I made some new friends, chatted up with some old friends, and over all had a GRAND TIME!!!!!! Much love to all that attended, and Kee-Kee thank you so much for allowing me to be part of such a magnificent event.

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Why I Write

Wow, it’s funny how things happen and make you think and realized your true gifts & talents. I had been having a debating with myself about picking up my blog, dusting it off and get back in to it. I hadn’t posted in months, mainly because I’d gotten bored and ran out of things to talk about. There are so many blogs available; I didn’t think 1 more blog with pretty much the same information you can find anywhere/everywhere would be missed. BOY WAS I WRONG! I started my blog to share my experience, journey, joys, and lows with natural hair. I’ve went from TWA, Loc’s, to a full afro during the course of my natural hair journey. I hadn’t really received many comments about my blog postings, so I didn’t think that anyone was interested in what I was blogging about. I began to get emails, DM’s (tweets), and FB questions regarding natural hair do’s and don’ts and product suggestions. I’ve realized that although I may not have gotten a lot of commentary regarding what I was posting, my followers did enjoy my postings and felt I could speak intelligently on the natural hair care subject. Over the past few months, I’ve been contacted by several PR agencies to do product reviews, and offer giveaways, I’d been wrestling with the thought to host a natural meet up in DC (I’ve never attended one nor am I sure how to conduct one), and I wanted to include a segment on my blog about my skin issues and whether or not my hair and or products were the culprit. Then today I was tagged in a post by @coilyEboniqueMe WOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!-ok, HINT is taken and I’m bringing my blog back to life!!
I’ve always been a writer. My notebook and a blue Bic pen were my best friends when I was young. Growing up the youngest of 6 children, I was often left alone to entertain myself (my siblings are 15-20 years older). I always wrote stories, poetry, and was awarded several awards in high school for my writing abilities. I recall being teased for loving to write L. I allowed the teasing to stop me from growing as a writer, and I feel that over time, I’ve lost my “style”.
As CoilyEboniqueMe has stated on her blog (http://coilyeboniqueme.wordpress.com/) “So when it comes to my natural hair, I write to TEACH people about what I have learned myself during my journey. I RELAY the message that they are not alone in this process, and last but not least I write to COMMUNICATE with others.” My writing is meant to be taken as conversations and lessons between sister- friends.

Three Peals of Wisdom

  1. Don’t be afraid to share your experiences- the Good- the Bad- the Ugly.
  2. Embrace the power of writing and words.
  3. Relax.. Relate.. Release ( whooosah!)

@ CoilyEboniqueMe Thank you for tagging me 🙂 Ya’ll please check her out http://coilyeboniqueme.wordpress.com/and with that I tag @AuNaturalle85, @curly365, @bossygirl1980, @silverlips, @deepqueendiva (tag! you are it!). Ladies please tell us in a post, Why You Write? Please also tag 5 others and offer them 3 pearls of wisdom for other writers/bloggers 🙂

Thanks for reading 🙂

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Twist Out- GONE WRONG!!!!!!!!

Okay, yesterday I washed my hair using the Tightly Curly method on tightlycurly.com. Everything was all good until I decided that I was going to stretch/air dry my (still wet and full of conditioner) hair by separating it into sections, detangling it, and then putting it into two strand twists for a twist out. I applied a little coconut oil to my hair and twisted into 9 twists. My hair twisted beautifully and it felt very soft. After completing the twist, I allowed the twist to air dry. At bed time, I put a satin cap on my head for the rest night, and let it finish drying.

Fast forward- 6am this morning-I rubbed a little shealoe butter on the ends, and began to untwist my hair and it looks A MESS. I followed the advice I received from the twist out queens on Face book and Twitter- and mine don’t look anything like theirs!!! I watched Curly Lexi YouTube video 5x’s just to make sure I was doing it correctly. I didn’t separate allot of the pieces- I was told that would encourage frizz, I made sure my hair was completely dry, and I oiled the ends before I untwisted- WHATS THE FABBERNACKLE PROBLEM??

My hair was defined at the root and middle- but a poof ball at the ends!!! URBER UGLY!!! Too Big- Too frizzy- I DON’T LIKE IT!!!! This was my 4th attempt at this.. I’ve tried it on dry hair, wet hair, damp hair, flat twist, conditioned hair- WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I had to get ready for work so the best I could do was lightly fluff rock out.. UGH.. HELP Divas.. I wanna rock a twist out!!!!!!