June 18, 2013 by The Lupie Chick
On Sunday as we celebrated Fathers Day, many women took an opportunity to celebrate “Single Motherhood”. It was very distributing & disrespectful to see all the posts, & tweets that read “Happy Fathers Day to all the women holding it down alone”, “ Happy Fathers Day to all the true fathers”, “Happy Father’s Day to all the real men who didn’t walk away from your responsibilities”, so forth and so on. Surprisingly I didn’t see these posts from the “affected” children, but from the “bitter” women to whom I ask HOW DID YOU GET INTO THAT SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE??? (another post/topic for another day). I was once a single mother (I gave birth to my first child at age 16), not once have I ever celebrated Fathers Day or took Fathers Day as an opportunity to bash my son’s father (publicly or privately). Father’s Day is NOT (and I repeat) IS NOT a celebration of Mothers or single parent households. Father’s Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Father’s Day was created to complement Mother’s Day, a celebration that honors mothers and motherhood. Single Parents’ Day takes place each year on March 21. it’s a day set aside to honor and applaud the hard work single parents do each and every day in raising their children.
Did you know there is a Hallmark “Mahogany” Father’s Day Card for Mother’s?
On Mother’s Day, I see mothers (I use that term lightly) get accolades just for giving birth. We all know a number of mothers who has left their children for the village to raise. Yes, they may be in the home (physically) but they aren’t being raising their children. Giving birth does not make you a mother. It makes you the biological parent just as impregnating someone doesn’t make you a father- AGAIN- It makes you the biological parent.
Ladies, WE ARE NOT MEN-WE ARE NOT FATHERS-WE CANT AND NEVER WILL BE- SO STOP IT!!!!!!!!!! Instead of posting messages on social networks, sending text, wishing Mothers a “Happy Father’s Day- why not contact a man who is absent from his child life and encourage him to reach out and make the first move TODAY??? In addition, Ladies regardless of WHEN the father steps up-ALLOW HIM TO BE A FATHER. The issues that you may have with him and his neglect are YOUR ISSUES WITH ANOTHER ADULT- I hear way too often, “why now”? where have you been [insert number of years]? We don’t need you; I’m [insert child’s name] mother and father, my new man is doing your job, you (we) get hung up on all the bull that we play a part in keeping the father away. I’ve heard too many men say ” I cant deal with my child’s mother “, I’ll wait until (s)he is an adult to be in his/her life. We all know that by the time a CHILD reaches an adulthood-THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE!
If you have an outstanding mother that raised you singlehandedly then just do it big on Mother’s Day and leave Father’s Day for the men. There are fathers, step fathers, god fathers, grand fathers, uncles, cousins, friends, and mentors who deserve to be honored & celebrated on Father’s Day (without having to read through a bunch of disrespectful, wrongly directed messages, posts, and tweets). If you are a single mother, then be an exceptional mother but don’t try to be a father too. Respect the role of a real man.